People are always going to push your buttons, whether intentionally or unintentionally, that’s just a flaw of human nature. No matter where you go, you will encounter those who have personal issues to deal with and might be rubbing that onto you as byproducts to make themselves feel better. The best thing to always do is not be sucked into their negative reality.
Admittedly, learning how to hold back anger when someone is provoking you is no walk in the park, and for that reason, you will want to take notice on how to address the provoker in question to put out any unnecessary fire with ease.
Above all, finding peace is not difficult, if you know how to neutralize your anger when you are being provoked. Follow these three steps:
STEP 1: Listen to Their Words
The first thing to do is to listen to them intently. Don’t pursue a response but let them say all what they have to say. Hone in on keywords they’re using. Focus on WHY they might be saying those things. You might find that they are angry due to a situation, or something that is founded in a reality that you may be a part of, so pay attention.
STEP 2: Respond with a Reason Why
Ask them why they are saying such things to you because they might be having a bad day or something might be bothering them. Always take that into consideration in this arena by responding with questions to uncover the WHY reasons, and do NOT immediately fire back. It’s all too easy to get worked up and give in to anger, so don’t do it; anger is only one letter away from danger. Ask what you can do to help satiate the situation, and just stay composed.
STEP 3: Diffuse and Excuse Yourself from the situation
Simply ask if the person have said all what they needed to get off their chest. Politely tell them that you will take their words into consideration, and then walk away and don’t return for the time being. If you have actually wronged them, sympathize with the way they feel and that you will try to make up for whatever they feel you might have wronged them.
There is no reason to fear or argue with someone who is trying to tempt you to anger. (Remember what happened to Anakin Skywalker? Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering. Stay calm padawan.)
Learn to be unaffected by it or release it from the other person. Always strive to be the bigger person.